The other self

(PC: https://www.smashingmagazine.com/2009/03/30-beautiful-surreal-and-dark-art-pictures/)

In the absolute silence

amidst gray darkness 

I found my "self"

the other self

...

On its own,

Lying there

Child.

it was just a child 

that other "me" 

Abandoned

Broken 

wailing inside

without tears

without a sound

...

A second

Thousand lifetimes

spent

    Our eyes met

his tear filled

shocked mine

the feeling resonated

Then,

my heart broke

to pieces

and pieces

Then,

I felt

what he felt

pain, so much pain

to the brim

I could hold no more

heavy.

my knees buckled

burdened by memories

Then

I could

only cry

with him

together

In the absolute silence

amidst gray darkness 

...

A touch of kindness

What would we be without kindness?

Without gratitude that follows in its footsteps..

Perhaps life would not be "life"

And happiness just a fantasy...

And every walk of life

May not smile so beautifully

Same in different faces 

Uneven contours carved subtle with stories

"Of woe we faced

Happiness discovered

Love shared"

All be one in essence

With a touch of kindness

...

July 27 2020

Searching for that rainbow

Dark clouds gather

Thunder rumbles

lightning flashes

and here comes the rain..

As she looks towards the heavens

her cat jumps frightened

so she closes the curtails

trying to hold back her own fear

Day as dark as the night

colder and colder

meow? as footsteps light

on her lap completes a circle

She finds ears pleading for scratch

shivering fur near her belly

makes her smile, a little laugh

she hums as her hands comfort gently

As one purrs away

another deep in thought

the time passes, progresses day

both there, there-there, snooze

Sometime later they are awake

no more be clouds thunder lighting or rain

she opens the curtain

Meow asks her companion

Wanders her searching gaze

towards the opening sky

towards the simmering rain

there, there-there, RAINBOW!

Smile breaks on her somber face

meow her fellow looks up too

there, there-there, colors dance

there, there-there,  curves the RAINBOW!

Elegy

As anger ebbed away

clarity returned crystal

i felt the warmth in my hands

 soaked in the blood red

Tears they came unbidden

a river a sea then an ocean deep

drowning my burning rage into dripping sorrow

for the first time i, i truly so wept

Broken bodies scattered

ashes, ashes, and only poignant ashes

where you are, my righteous

my desperate prayers be naught, to ears deaf

I stood there till came dawn

And with its first radiant sunrise

I saw eyes, unblinking eyes, dead

damning soul, mine, forever mine

Thus I ran, ran and ran

to do away my guilt, unburden my woe

but they never left me

so an elegy to lost innocence of my soul

I pray never will there be a time

when man may need to take life

for each life he takes, he takes his own

shackled in the purgatory wandering alone..

Ep

Waiting for my time to come
breathing the sweet breath 
as long as i can make it last
no promises no regrets

Orphans of wars of hunger
no more, i am, a soul freed
free free free at last
no more enthralled in lies, i be

the fleshly pleasures 
whose burden crushes the spirit
enslaves this mind this heart
no more...
no promises no regrets

Meant to be

We were meant to be forgotten
In the annals of history victors wrote
In their every ending, the happy endings
Reality that was, will never come to be realized...

They wove dreams intangible
Yet so captivating
We forgot our own identity
So long...it has been

From dust unto dust
So all will be...us..ours
As it was meant to be
Erased from existence...

Not easy

Even to die
A Second becomes an eternity
Breath within breath
Between light and darkness
Between past and present
Mine.
A traveler intermittent
Struggling
Barely holdin
Scared
With agony
With loneliness
Only my own
Mine.

Life
An eternity becomes a second
Meaning happiness fulfilment
Memories within memories
Pray they never end
But even faith that moves mountain
But even love Immemorial
Nothing can stop
Ever...
The flow

How can it be easy
To embrace life
Accept death
And love selflessly

How can it be
When powerful are powerless
To change fate
When lonely souls wander aimlessly
To find meaning
Searching lights that shine among darkness
In silence solemn
Only echoes of their desperation is heard...


A fickle heart
Another brave
Pieces of puzzle
A grand symphony
Its not so easy to compose
Nor easy to perform
But its beautiful
The ups downs constant
And magic of music
Only life and death holds
So preciously dear...

Simple

Tread gently my love
light as the rain drops
gracing the thirsty earth
come with me together

Simple man I am
as simple as one can be
Words have failed me
so come lets walk in silence

Lets unravel the mysteries
nature hides on plain sight
in the gentle sway of the leaves
in the colorful rays of sunshine 

There is depth in every element
each soul living and not's exist
find the delight of moments
smile cry all.. in the light of simple

Love

Tender as the flower of spring
she blooms in my  heart 
then disappears like a dream
from my mortal consciousness
Fairy of unimaginable beauty
keep on sharing your joy
spread your wings and fly on
let there be light from your soul
no time no distance no walls
will subdue your brilliance
that is your luv

There is no equal to what I feel
when my glances met hers
no joy so overflowing as then
as I realized love in memory relived
in each breath each beat, mine
this is my luv

Frozen in time, fossilized in memory
as time takes my spirit away
I swim in the swirl o lights
light lighter than lightest
destiny plays its joke but 
it can't take a'way love
more than me mine and myself
this is love

Returning to source of all
through the dark tunnel of time
I see stars falling 
life of light brightning, deeming
then her, the angel 
but I can only go past her 
returning to whence I came
ah, sorrow deep within me
I feel heaviness..
so this is love also

We traveled till here
hand in hand 
through cycle of feelings
adversity and happiness therein
you made me happy
and I tried also my lovely lady
this is the end of us
but never the feeling
this is our love

Memory of an origami...

Memory of an origami…

A rice paper; square
Folded.
To,
The equal parts.

There, here…
Hands reach
To fold one into another
Creases...
Neither fast, Nor slow
Rhythm sets…
With practiced ease…

Steady.

(...Time stops
In curiosity
…)

Finally…
there it stands tall!
The proud paper crane
Leaping high
held...gently.
On proud wrinkled hands
Soaring with grace…
Up
Down,
Up..then
Down to tiny ones
Expectant..

As .. Faces similar
Break like ice
Into flowing water
There,
Those warm smiles
Reach the eyes
Together...

One; laughing dimples 
With eyes of innocence bright
Another: lines of time sculptured in flesh
Curved with satisfaction wide...

As the sun rests…
With a sigh.
Final.
Their shrinking shadows,
Walk.
 hand-in hand...

One, with a walking stick
Another, with that proud crane

That...origami...

Shine of the sun

Freedom from self
Freedom...true
There are paths
Mine.
Yours..
Ours...

As we,
Dream on…
Live on..
Walk on.

Alone..
We arrived
Another Journey ahead
Alone...will we be

Each path dark
Unknown...
We will, we must
So navigate...

Fear arises.
Naturally...
But let it not go
Over your head...

Give your best
Be bright as you can
Let your shadow do its worst
Shine…
Not for others
Not for me
But for yourself
Shine…
Always 
Even alone
Specially alone…
Shine.

Let your darkeness 
Shine…
Overwhelm inborn ignorance
Learn…
let knowledge replace your doubts
Love…selflessly
Love…endlessly
First…yourself
Then perhaps… me…
Feel as it is
Accept as it is
Be it.

After all...
You. born out of love
A gift, perhaps unexpected…😂
But gift you be…nonetheless

So…
Be kind to yourself
Then empathy comes naturally
Assuming yourself as...
Learned less, ignorant more
Especially ignorant..

That is, love itself
That endless search
Ending in self 
The origin...
Without hearts jealous
Easily Mortals so break

Be. Let’s be.
Beyond time, as one
Past present future
Inseparable
Together
One soul
 Two bodies
forever…

Ah…moon of my life
That was what you whispered
 To Me…In fleeting thoughts
As we separated
One soul two bodies
Even now…how can I forget
That oneness..
Before separation
Familiar oneness
…
Eclipse, the first…that one phase
Long ago but for me not long at all
Eclipse...darkest of dark
Agonizing separation…pain…endless
Never can It be replaced…never
Over it never is, over
Rest. Go in peace…you recurring memories….

Memories…ah…please
Memories.
just let me be
memories…

Balm. Cool touch hers
with soothing thoughts
all over me spreads…

Finally free..
Despite pain…
 free

Rings true
Her thoughts;
Live till the brim
Till the brim is
more…
More than life itself

Try and live
Even if life gives up on you
Test your limits
Break yourself
To remake..
Let nature rebuild
The universe you hold
Go with the big bang
Which remakes me
And you
You.
Especially you

You.

Don’t hide the shine in you
Let it replace
Memories,
 each of those moments
With Love, selfless warm love
That love, I have for you…

Smile…laugh
Let yourself shine
For my shine is in you
As yours is in me”

I know,
What I need to do
As my eyes open
As my body stand 
 a step forward
a journey of next
I smile
Opening arms wide
Feeling her embrace
Feeling her smile
Then…
I shine
First…for myself
Then for her
Especially her...
I shine…😊😊😊

Songs of the rain

The forest sigh
As rain drenches
green leaves above
brown roots below
Where birds nestle
Where squirrels cuddle
in symphony of warmth 

The land virgin
The parched surface
Man never walked
Man never toiled
But.
some day some when
They will…
you will know 
there is something colder
colder than rain
man's ruthlessness
woman's cold shoulder
you will, they will
know...


*     *     *

The cat leaps
With an instinct
As the frog flees
From its curious paws
As the rain ceases
Peace reigns 
Except the constant drips
Lights go out
I am
in darkness...
Left on my own
…sigh…..


*   *    *

Song of the moon

Those endless clouds

Within the depth of the sky blue

They be, What hope brings

With wind of change

With magic of time

Exquisite, so full of meanings

They whisper to me

Dream… never forget… to dream

ah those undeniably beautiful

Those imperfect Dreams…

Dreams of forever..

Life denies so ruthlessly.

But how can I not dream…

How can you not dream….

How can we ever..., not.

When dreams…

Dreams, ah! warm embrace of now

Warmth inside, deep, deep down, inside

 Spread delicately in moments

Embracing every part

 Every scars..

 those scars…

Itched  on one’s soul

Ah the familiar ache

Ah that part you call yourself

Yet, the respite hope

Hope has not lost its way…

In the darkest of the nights

She is that gentle moon

Beloved of sun

She smiles, now and then

Hiding sometimes in her sadness

Smiling sometimes back with kindness

But, never for long

She…

Below her is that weird ship;  life

Wanders so, 

In circles

Searching in faces

In hearts heartless

For just a piece of love

For just a touch of understanding

In this world, this meeting place…

"Look no more

Search no more.."

I hear a soft whisper

Now and then

In the wind...

In the waves...

As the sail becomes still

The deepening night

 solemn silence...

Tired eyes no more ahead

Glances fall below

Those eyes open wide

They realize

 They…

They see ...themselves

Staring back unflinching

A sign of life..is there..?

Then her, her glorious smile

Where sadness abides

Where joy resides...

Joy to be alive

To be able love, to feel

But sad...for she is

 the beloved of sun

Dancer of the waves

Singer without words

The symbol of hope

To those who are hopeless...

I listen, there her longing is

In her voice

In her stances

As she sings

Sweet as the morning nightangle

Touching my heart strings

As she dances

Beyond the clouds

A graceful immortal

 reaching me.. Tender

Bringing warmth..light

Curved in a smile

I feel the melody

With the touch of warm tears

Coming unbidden

Drop after drop

Salty as the ocean below

I knew with its taste

In my lips

Curved into a smile

As her song fades away

As her dance slows down

With the incoming darkness

End...

To the solemn silence

Eyes slowly.. closed

To the darkness...

(I am..

Consciousness

I realize…

Then… I…exist

There, she exists

With her lonely smile

Here, I am

With this fragment of self

I…her

We are same…almost

…the same…almost…

Almost…)

One In our, 

loneliness

…

.

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